Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame. What usually happens? The show doesn’t come off very well. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show and is forever trying to arrange the lights, the scenery, and the rest of the players in his own way. Most people try to live by self-propulsion. I pray that some of its rays may shine in my life. I pray that I may try to be a reflection of the Divine Light.
But some of this glory is risen in you when you try to reflect that light in your life. “Now you see as in a glass darkly, but later you will see face to face.” The glory of the Lord is too dazzling for mortals to see fully on earth. It is risen in you, even though you can realize it only in part. Arise and shine, for the light has come and the glory of the Lord has risen in thee.” The glory of the Lord shines in the beauty of a man’s character. But we must act now and not put it off until tomorrow. I have learned it’s better to make a mistake once in a while than to never do anything at all. “Some day I’ll do that” - but I never did it. When I was sober I was too busy getting over my drunk to start anything. “There is always another day” was my motto instead of “Do it now.” Under the influence of alcohol, I had grandiose plans. I was always putting things off till tomorrow and as a result that never got done. It assures me that my Higher Power will wait until I am willing once again to risk letting go, to land in the net, and to pray. The above passage is my safety net, in that it urges me to try some new behavior, such as being kind and patient with myself. In those moments of self-will it’s as if I’ve slipped over a cliff and am hanging by one hand. Then my disease tells me that I am a failure, and that if I stay angry I’ll surely get drunk.
Sometimes I scream, stomp my feet, and turn my back on my Higher Power. We should simply resume prayer as soon as we can, doing what we know to be good for us. When these things happen we should not think too ill of ourselves. Occasionally, we are seized with a rebellion so sickening that we simply won’t pray.
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